Is my boyfriend cheating on me? That is one of the most popular questions that clients ask in readings. There are some women that are suspicious by nature and worry whenever they see even a slight change in their boyfriends behavior. If a woman has had a cheating boyfriend in the past she may constantly be looking for any man in her life to cheat on her as well. The fear that it will happen again and the pain that comes with it drive them to jump the gun and immediately use “My boyfriend must be cheating on me” as the reason for any differentiation in his behavior.
Sometimes it could simply be work pressures or personal issues that have nothing to do with you that is the reason behind their different behavior and attitude towards you. Sometimes, if you just pull back a little bit yourself and give them some space it will go back to normal pretty quickly. If you accuse your boyfriend and keep asking him if he is cheating on you it can make things much worse.
No one wants to be falsely accused, especially if they have given you no good reason to do so. If you have had a picture perfect boyfriend for years and he is going through a tough time and you are aware of it, fighting over non-existent cheating can cause a lot of damage. Especially if your boyfriend is aware of your cheating ex, and if you do it all the time. No one wants to pay for anyone else’s mistakes. You have to be very careful, because they might decide to finally do what they are always being accused of by you.
Your insecurity is for you to get a grip on. If your boyfriend has done nothing to deserve your accusations, then you will just wind up driving him away. It is not up to someone else to ease your insecurity, that belongs to you. In truth, no one can get rid of your insecurity issues unless they are the ones actually causing them.
If your boyfriend hides his phone, answers his phone or texts only when you are not around or acts secretive about it, then he is making you insecure. If you have caught your boyfriend talking, texting, or behaving inappropriate with other women, then you have every reason to suspect him. That is on him. He needs to rebuild the trust between the two you. If he has kept things from you or lied about where he has been or who has been with (especially an ex or member of the opposite sex) then yeah, your suspicion is justified. Your boyfriend cannot just tell you to get over it. He needs to help you get over it or he needs to be given the boot. He shouldn’t expect trust from you when he betrayed it. He needs to earn it back, and if he is not willing, nothing can be fixed and it will just get worse.
Exes are very dangerous territory, and if your boyfriend is telling you not to worry, he hates his ex and would never get back together with her don’t buy it. If he doesn’t want to get back with her, they why deal with her? If all she gave you was problems, why would you take her calls or answer her texts? Why would you be friends with her? Past relationships need to stay in the past, and not interfere with current relationships, period. If there are children involved, that is one thing, but conversations should be regarding parenting matters, nothing personal. So if you suspect your boyfriend of cheating on you, then stop and think before you act. If it is not their fault, stop punishing them and get yourself in check. If it is their fault, then it is time to address the real problems of disrespect and inappropriate behavior in your relationship.