Your self-esteem is the basis of how you see yourself, your life, and so much more. If you have low self-esteem it can negatively impact the relationship choices you make and become involved in. Unless you come to grips with your low self-esteem, it will most likely sink lower and lower. So how can someone raise their self-esteem to a higher level? Here are ten ways you can improve your self-esteem, and improve your relationships at the same time.
1. The first step to improve your self-esteem is to listen to you inner voice. Are you being your own worst enemy by being too critical and judging yourself too harshly? If so, it is time to quiet that negativity and replace it with positive reinforcement. That negative voice can negatively impact relationships as well.
2. Let go of the idea of perfection to improve your self-esteem. Life is not perfect, and neither are people, which includes YOU. Replace your goal of perfection with a goal of “the best you can”. The best you can is an achievable goal, perfection is not. Stop setting yourself up for failure by trying to be perfect or having everything be perfect. Seeking perfection can sabotage even great relationships.
3. Before you go to bed at night, try to think of three positive things you did that day. It doesn’t matter how minor, just something you can feel good about doing. It can help improve your self-esteem by focusing on positive things before bed rather than worrying about negative things.
4. Find your sense of humor and use it. When things do wrong or you make mistakes, rather than criticize yourself, laugh it off. A sense of humor can help little things from becoming more melodramatic than they need to be. A sense of humor as opposed to a sense of drama makes you more attractive in relationships.
5. Take inventory of the people around you. If you surround yourself with negative people, you can be sure your self-esteem will suffer. Let go of those people who destroy your self-esteem, seeking out more positive people to replace them. Misery loves company, and you don’t need that kind of company. You don’t need negative friends or family members making you second guess your relationship.
6. Take a look at what is truly making you unhappy. Is it your job? is it your relationship? Financial situation? Whatever the case, the first step is to identify, but not dwell on it. Let’s say it is your job that makes you so unhappy. The first step would be to do all you can to make things better or more positive. If you find there is nothing you can do, don’t get upset, and don’t blame yourself. You did all you can and the best you can. Now it is time to look for another job. Know that someday you will find something better. Instead of dwelling on how miserable your job makes you, empower yourself by looking for another one. Don’t look at it as a failure, do not blame yourself. Taking control of your situation is empowering, so feel empowered and in control. Sometimes situations that make you feel hopeless are the very situations that can make you feel in control by seizing the opportunity to take control. Standing your ground in relationship can make you stronger or give you the courage to walk away from the wrong ones.
7. Stop focusing on your negative qualities unless you plan on changing them. It is one thing to remind yourself that you could lose ten pounds if you have a goal and are seriously working towards losing 10 pounds. But if you are focusing on the 10 pounds you need to lose while eating ice cream and making yourself feel worse, it is pointless. We all have negative qualities, and we all deserve love regardless of those negative qualities. If you focus only on your negative qualities you will force those you are involved in to focus on them as well.
8. Set some long-term large goals and some small short-term goals. Make two lists. Even if it is something as simple as cleaning out your closets, organizing your kitchen cabinets, or weeding your garden. When you see yourself accomplishing smaller goals, the large ones do not seem so impossible or implausible. Same thing with relationships. Instead of lowering your self-esteem by feeling like a loser for not being in a relationship, enjoy the process of dating. Each date, even if it is a horrible one, brings you one step closer to finding the right person. Feeling a sense of accomplishment and that you are doing something, rather than waiting for something, will improve your self-esteem.
9. Get in touch with your soul, your life purpose, and pull yourself out of the superficial. When you connect with your soul, and the soul of others, your self-esteem will improve. Volunteer to a cause that speaks to your soul, and meet and interact with people who also connect to that cause. Being surrounded by that kind of energy can do wonders for your self-esteem and keep you grounded.
10. Let go of fear and take a chance. When it comes to relationships or any area of your life, you are going to be held back if you dwell on your fears. Be willing to take risks so you can get the rewards. Understand that not all risks pay off, but that some of them WILL. If you don’t take a chance with relationships, you won’t get the relationship you want. Not all those relationships will work out, but if you don’t take a chance, none of them will.
Do you need to improve your self-esteem so you can have better relationships? Sara and Sophia are here to help you see the root cause of lower self-esteem. Working closely with them your self-esteem will improve and so will the quality of your relationships.