When it comes to relationships, it is often better to believe what you see, and not what you hear. When someone says one thing but then does the opposite, it can be very confusing.
Someone can constantly tell you how much they love you. But what if their actions say something else all together? Mixed messages in love and relationships can leave you feeling very uncertain. You don’t know what to believe. They say one thing, than do another. So which one is the truth? Should you believe what they say, or believe actions speak louder than words?
For the most part, it is better to focus on someone’s actions and behaviors. It is easier to lie with words than it is with actions and behaviors. If the one you love tells you how important to them you are but doesn’t show you what should you believe? Obviously you cannot take their word for it, because their behavior contradicts it. If you are important to someone, their words and actions need to match. Otherwise, what good are their words? What value do their words have? They have no value what so ever if they don’t back up their words with action. When it comes to relationships, someone can love you but not treat you very well. Their behavior leads you to believe they don’t really care about you or your relationship. That may or may not be true, but you need to find out for sure.
Some people will tell you they don’t care about you or want to be with you but their actions don’t support that. They continue to call, text, or spend time with you. They may tell you they want you to date someone else yet when you do they become angry or hostile. Isn’t that what they said they wanted? Yes, it is, but their actions are telling you their words were all one big fat lie. They may have believed (or wanted you to believe) they were over you, when their actions made it obvious that they clearly are not. Sometimes someone can tell you over and over again that it is over and you will never get back together. Then why is it they keep contacting you regularly and/or want to spend time with you? Clearly what you are hearing is quite different from what they are saying. If they want to move on, shouldn’t they be letting you go? Don’t people who break up cease contact? For the most part, yes they do. Obviously they are not ready to let go just yet, whatever their reasons may be.
What we hear may be our reality for a while. But when we keep seeing the opposite of what we are hearing, we no longer believe those words anymore. When we first meet someone we believe all the compliments and positive comments and expressions of love. After seeing how they behave and what they do, their words don’t make us feel joy anymore. We dismiss them as lies. Their actions then become our reality, and if their actions make us feel really bad, nothing they say can make us feel better. It is very important in relationships for both partners to have their words and actions match up.
When beginning a relationship, the second you see a contradiction between what they say and what they do you need to call them on it right away. Those contradictions are a catalyst for more contradictions if you let them get away with it. We all say stupid things sometimes, and we all may be guilty of telling a little white lie now and then. It is when what you see and what you hear are polar opposites that you have a real problem. The one you love may be completely unaware just how often what you see and what you hear confuses you. You are the one suffering the consequences, they are not. It may be time to take the bull by the horns and let them know how they need to get their words and actions in alignment or else. And remember, if you are going to give someone an “or else” your words wont be worth anything if YOU don’t back it up with action. If you don’t, they won’t believe what they hear out of you, only what they see.