They say you can’t change people. The truth is, changing your attitude may change the attitude of your romantic partner. If you have a bad attitude, from say holding on to a grudge, its safe to say your partners attitude towards you won’t be very positive either. If you want your loved ones attitude to change, you might start by changing your own. You may say you are the one with the positive attitude. It is them with the negative attitude towards you and your relationship. Well what is your attitude towards them?
Are you constantly doing things and saying things in an effort to change their attitude? Are you bending over backwards to make them happy, hoping their attitude will change somehow? If you have been, try doing something different. Don’t pay them any mind. If all the positivity you throw their way is not coming back to you, stop doing it. Change your attitude to indifference. Decide you have tried hard enough, and if they want your positive attitude towards them back, then they can finally do something to earn it back. Their attitude may get darker at first, but it may just turn around for the better in the long run. Sometimes simply by changing your attitude you just may change theirs.
Let’s say you are dating a man who is a workaholic. He can only see you when he has time, and he has very little time because of his attitude towards work. He believes work comes first, relationships second. He calls you when he is free, and you jump at the chance to see him. You don’t make as many plans for yourself. Your attitude is, you would rather not take the chance going out with friends, because he may have some time to see you and you want to be available. You have begged to see him more. You have complained, gotten angry, and his attitude has not changed. He thinks saying he has to work is a good enough excuse and you need to accept it. You tried hard enough to change his attitude.
Now try changing yours. Instead of revolving your life around his free time, you let your life evolve organically. If friends ask you to a play, you go. You no longer have the attitude that seeing him and making time for him is your number one priority. Since it is not his, it is no longer yours. Now, when he calls to say he has free time, you don’t answer. You no longer interrupt your time with others because he finally has time to call. When you call him back the next day, he mentions he had time and was looking for you but you didn’t answer. You simply say you were out with friends and had your phone off because you don’t like to be rude and talk on the phone when you are with someone. Chances are very high he won’t like that change in your attitude. He would much prefer you to be there when he has time, and to talk to him when he has time to talk.
Your change in attitude could get him to making you a higher priority. Many times when we change our attitude towards other people, their attitude towards us changes as well. If your relationship needs and attitude adjustment, why not start with yourself?