Is My Boyfriend Keeping a Secret?
You may wonder if your boyfriend is keeping a secret from you. Your boyfriend may be behaving in ways that make you wonder what secret he is trying to keep from you. When you enter the room and your boyfriend is on his laptop, he immediately changes the screen or shuts in down. You may hear them whispering when they are on their phone and they get nervous or defensive when you ask who they are talking to. Suddenly your boyfriend may have his phone attached to his body. It never leaves his site or his body any more. They even take it with them when they shower or use the bathroom.
Your boyfriend may have deleted you off social media for a silly reason. You used to always get your texts or phone calls answered in a timely manner. Now suddenly your contact with your boyfriend has slowed way down. When you ask why they didn’t answer they fumble with lame excuses and are suddenly busy. You also notice they are not initiating contact as much any more. You really get the feeling they are hiding something from you and are keeping secrets from you.
Your boyfriend wants you to respect their privacy, and of course you should to some degree. But has your boyfriends need for privacy gone a bit overboard? If you have nothing to hide, your need for privacy isn’t extreme. However, if you are keeping a secret (or secrets) you need to keep a lot of things private or you will get busted. If you want a relationship that is transparent but your boyfriend wants almost everything private, then you are on two different pages. If their need for privacy is making you uncomfortable, chances are your intuition is telling you something, and you should pay attention. Always pay attention to what your gut is trying to tell you.
Now here is where you have a choice. You can either become a private detective and invade every private area of their life in an attempt to find their secret. If you do this and find nothing and they catch you, you could seriously damage your relationship. But if there is a specific area of your relationship that seems really dodgy, like say their recent change in behavior with their phone, address that and only that for now. Let them know you are feeling uncomfortable with their change in behavior, and that their behavior needs to go back to the way it used to be. Tell them that whatever it is they are doing, it better be worth it, because it is going to cost them your trust.
If they just get defensive, stand your ground and tell them you don’t want a boyfriend that is more concerned with keeping a secret rather than keeping trust in your relationship. Secrets almost always come out at some point anyway, so better to address it the right way. We all have a right to privacy, but not to use it as an excuse to cheat. Some secrets are harmless, and therefore not really your business. But if those secrets are harmful to you or them, those secrets need to be revealed. Once the secret sees the day of light, you can go about repairing the broken trust issue in your relationship.