We all make mistakes, especially when it comes to our relationships. Everyone has made relationship mistakes. No one gave us a handbook when we reached a certain age so we would have all the right answers. If our parents had a dysfunctional relationship where would we learn how to avoid making our own relationship mistakes? There is no course taught in high school and our peers have been just as clueless as we are.
We dive into the dating pool without knowing how to swim. We are battling new emotions and new experiences that we barely know how to handle as it is. So it is reasonable to assume we have all made relationship mistakes. Our mistakes may have sabotaged a really great relationship or made us stay in a bad one too long. Either way our relationship mistakes come with some costly lessons. But have we learned anything? Are we just repeating the same mistakes with different partners? For some it can feel like deja vu. The same relationship problems surface and so does the same crappy end result. Why does this keep happening to so many people? The answer is that they have not learned everything they needed to.
Some of it could be chalked up to bad luck. It could be that you unknowingly went out with two guys in a row who were cheaters. That’s not your fault nor your mistake. But if you entered into a relationship with two men you knew beforehand were cheaters, the mistake is yours. After the first guy, you should have passed on the second one. You might feel as though all men are commitment phobic. The last several men you dated or were in a relationship with had commitment issues. Some expressed it both verbally and through their behavior. There are a lot of people out there with commitment issues and you can’t avoid all of them. If you want a commitment then you should let go of any man in your life who does not. It is not your fault you met them nor is it your fault if they hid it from you for a while. It is your fault and your mistake if you didn’t terminate the relationship once you found out. If you are learning from your past experiences, you would know to drop it, no matter how much you like them. If a commitment is that important to you, you should have learned that you won’t accept less from any man.
Learning from your relationship mistakes is not only learning about the opposite sex. It is about learning about yourself. We all can think we know what we want, but when we get it we are not always satisfied. You can learn what it is you do want and what it is you don’t want from relationships. Both are equally important. You may think you want an educated rich man but down the line you may realize your mistake. You also wanted someone who can spend a lot of time with you. The problem is that the rich educated men you met were workaholics. Now you realize you have to amend what it is you actually want otherwise you won’t be happy in the relationship.
We learn a lot from what we get right, and can learn just as much from the mistakes we make. Especially when it comes to relationships.