Relationship communications skills are so important for a healthy relationship. We rely on our relationship communication skills to express our thoughts, feelings, needs and desires. We also need healthy, positive communication skills to deal with conflict in our relationships. Unfortunately communication has, to some degree, become manipulation in relationships. This is because many people won’t say what they need to say, and instead play word games.
When you are beginning a relationship with someone who is the time to listen to your inner voice and use your speaking voice. You need to properly verbalize your needs and agendas so that you are truly being heard. How many times have you complained that someone is “Just not listening to you”? Have you told the one you love something and feel that they refuse to listen or that they just don’t understand you? Well, how did you tell them what was on your mind? Did you beat around the bush? Did you expect them to guess what was on your mind ? Do you think that if someone loves you then you shouldn’t have to say anything?
People are not mind readers, and if you want to be heard, then speak. So many people are afraid to even make suggestions of where to go to dinner much less speak their minds on important issues. Why? How is someone supposed to get to know you if you are hiding what is going on in your mind? Has someone told you when they first met that they do not want a serious relationship? Are you secretly hoping one day they will? If you are, can you honestly say you listened them?
Communication is not just about talking, it is also about listening. Let’s say someone told you that when you walk out of your house in the morning your house will blow up. If you leave your house in the morning and it doesn’t blow up, will you believe them again? No. Then why if you tell someone over and over again that if they don’t make a commitment to you that you are leaving them yet you never leave you expect them to believe you?
Quite frankly, you lied. Why should they believe you now? And why would you believe someone who tells you over and over again that they will make changes and they don’t? Why do you keep believing them? They lied. Repeatedly. When are you going to stop believing them? Will it take 100 lies? a thousand? Communicating with honesty is one of the keys to a successful relationship. You and the one you love should feel secure in expressing your feelings, thoughts, and opinions. If fear is preventing you or the one you love from expressing yourself, you have a big problem in your relationship. When you don’t express yourself, that part of you becomes hidden from the one you love. That then creates distance, and the relationship begins to come apart. Fear of expressing oneself is often a symptom of an even greater issue in a relationship. If ignored, the relationship cannot be expected to be harmonious.
All relationships have disagreements or differences of opinion. It is at these times that good relationship communication skills are most important. A small argument can lead to a complete blow out (and break up) if the couple cannot discuss their differences properly. If mole hills are constantly made into mountains, such volatility does not make for a happy relationship. It removes a feeling of security and stability. If you are having communication issues in your relationship, Sarah and Sophia can help.