Why stay in a bad relationship that isn’t working? Why would you stay in a bad relationship where things have only continued to get worse? Do you think your relationship is going to change for the better by some miracle? Do you think a bad relationship will somehow get better as long as you hang in there? If you stay in a bad relationship, chances are it is going to change…for the worse. Not for the better.
Without a conscious effort on both sides, you can’t change a bad relationship into a good one. Just because you have been together for a long time doesn’t mean you will stay together forever; it’s not a good reason to stay. So many people won’t leave a bad relationship because they think if they leave the entire relationship will have been a waste of time. What kind of logic is that? So you are going to waste more time in the future because you refuse to accept you wasted time in your past? That time is already gone. Nothing you can do about it. You can’t use it again.
The future is all you have, so why waste it on a bad relationship? Can you look back on your relationship and see that it started out good but then turned rotten? Just because it was good at one point, doesn’t mean it will be good again. A fresh fruit was perfect to eat at one point but then it rotted. Are you going to refuse to throw away rotten fruit because it was perfect in the beginning? Are you going to hold on to it because one day it just might be edible again? Seriously?
There is no good reason to stay in a bad relationship, just excuses. It is hard to stay and it takes a lot of work, with nothing productive coming out of it. Use that same strength and hard work to leave and rebuild. If you really love this person and want to work it out, then do something to make it work. Don’t wait around for divine intervention. Don’t wait for them to realize how special you are. Do whatever you have to instead of the things you have been doing. They aren’t working. if you want to stay, fix it. If it cannot be fixed, get out.
Those are the only sane options. Too many people spend way too long in relationships that make them miserable, angry and depressed. Who cares if it made you feel good 5 years ago? It hasn’t for the last few years. So why are you still there? Because you are living in the past? If you do that, the present is going to be horrible, and so is your future. Deal with what you have NOW. Don’t expect to wake up one morning and suddenly find your relationship back to what it used to be. Has that ever happened to anyone? If any, not enough to count.
In many cases you are just hanging on to dead weight. The relationship is going to end because no one did anything to stop it, they just let it play out. They may have dragged it out but it didn’t change the fact that it ended. You may feel you could never end it but guess what? Your partner may surprise you and end it themselves. People in bad relationships often are open to the attention of someone new. Either you or your partner may begin an affair. Eventually that affair could end the relationship for good. So if you stay in a bad relationship, don’t expect a good prognosis. Without creating major change, bad relationships only get worse.
Also check out our article Will Time Apart Help the Relationship?