Will he and his ex make it, or will he come back to you? It totally sucks when you fall in love with someone and out of the blue they decide they want to give it one more try with their ex and dump you. After all the negative things you have heard about their ex, you can’t believe they would ever think they could make it work.
They may have tried off and on for years, what makes them think they could make it this time? It seems to defy all logic, what was the point of getting together with you if they had unresolved feelings for their ex? How could they have said everything they said to you if they had not gotten their ex out of their system?
It is so annoying when you see the one you love toss aside the great relationship the two of you had to try again with their ex to make it work. Shouldn’t he (or she) know that he and his ex won’t make it work? How much evidence does he need that they are not right for each other? He said he was so happy with you and so miserable with his ex so why is he doing this and risking losing you?
Yes, he should know he and his ex won’t make it. But depending on how dysfunctional his relationship with his ex is, he may never have intended on staying with you. Sure, he said all the right things, but he and his ex may have a pattern of breaking up and getting back together. When they break up, he doesn’t like being alone so he spent his off time with you. Now that he and his ex are ready to get back together, he set you free. Or, it could be that his ex always acted indifferent and uncaring towards him but now that she knows he has you in his life she is panicking and trying to make him think she changed.
She didn’t want him when she had him, she just wants him now because you have him. She will go back to being the same way she was before once she knows you are out of the picture. She didn’t really change, it was just a temporary thing to get him away from you. He will be miserable again, and feel conned by his ex, so chances are he may come looking for you again.
On your end, you need to forget about them for a while. You need to give yourself some time to heal, and you can’t do that focusing on them. Even if you want him back, you need to prepare yourself properly and be ready to handle him this go around. He shouldn’t get back into your life just because it didn’t work out with her. He has a lot of amends to make with you, and a lot of trust to earn back.
Don’t let him off easy. This was a terrible betrayal to you, and for what? A crappy relationship? He should be thankful you are willing to give him another chance, because he doesn’t deserve one really. Make him earn it, and this way he will learn to not make a stupid mistake like that. He needs to show you, not just tell you, how sorry he is. This will help you get over your distrust and insecurity going forward.