Should you give them another chance? Should you give your ex boyfriend, ex girlfriend, ex husband or ex-wife another chance to work on your relationship? You don’t want to end a relationship too early and regret that you didn’t give it enough chances to work. Wondering if it could have worked out or wondering if you made a mistake can prevent you from moving forward to a new fulfilling relationship. On the other hand, you may have given your ex more than enough chances and it would be a waste of your time to give them another one.
So how do you know when you have given someone enough chances to do the right thing?
If your ex has committed major offenses, such as cheating, most people would have a hard time giving them a second chance in the first place. It is very hard to rebuild the trust that has been destroyed when someone has betrayed it by cheating. The cheater is not the one who has to do the really hard work at rebuilding it, it is the person who has been cheated on.
Finding out someone has cheated a second time can sometimes be even more painful and infuriating that finding out the first time. At this point the chances of them not cheating again are slim to none. Your best bet would be to stop wasting your time with a cheater and move on. They do not deserve another opportunity to be unfaithful, and you deserve better than being suspicious of them all time and having to play detective. If you want a monogamous relationship with someone with no infidelity, you are going to have to give someone new a shot at it, not your ex.
Look at the state of your relationship with your ex. Did they make the same mistakes over and over again and never change? What makes you believe they will this time? Because they said so? Didn’t they say they would in the past and didn’t? Don’t fall for the same words and actions you did in the past. Don’t let your ex disappoint you and make you feel like a fool again when they pull the same shenanigans they used to.
If you want to keep giving them chance after chance then you must accept some responsibility for the hurt they continue to cause you. You know them well enough to know that this is who they are. Who you want them to be is something different altogether. To allow yourself to continue on in a relationship that
will obviously never change is a choice you made. You didn’t have to, you chose to. At a certain point you have to start making better choices if you want better outcomes.
Until you do that, you don’t stand a chance at having the relationship you really want. You also are not giving the universe the opportunity to bring the right person into your life because you won’t let go of the wrong person. Sure, you may love them, but you have to love yourself first. If you truly love yourself, you would know you deserve better than this. You deserved better then, and you deserve better now. You gave them everything, and you proved how much you loved them and how important the relationship was to you. Did they? No. So why not give all the love you have to give to someone who will truly appreciate it?